We got back from our first safari last night: all the way out to the western tip of Uganda, spitting distance from Rwanda and the DR Congo and all their associated troubled histories. Several tourists were kidnapped in the area a few years ago, but I think things have calmed down a bit now, and aside from the ugly human-related stain on the region in recent years, it really is incredibly beautiful. Green green everywhere, rounded rolling bushy hills, red equatorial earth and smiling children waving from the side of the highway.

There’s a boat you can take that circles a waterway connecting two gigantic lakes; this is ideal for wildlife-spotting because all the animals in the area come down to drink in the late afternoon. We saw several elephants, our share of hippos, and hundreds of these birds, all lined up facing the wind, waddles flapping to regulate their body heat in the African sun.

The lodge we stayed at is perched on top of a bluff overlooking the waterway. This was no hermetic tourist compound: we had to chase off a momma warthog who was rooting around outside our room. We never saw the resident hippo that wanders the grounds, which may have been a good thing: there’s some rumoured statistic somewhere about more people dying from hippo attacks than any other creature. Hungry hungry militant-4000lb-vegetarians.

Got up at 530 the next morning for the game drive, which turned out to be a bit of a bust. We’d heard that one car had spotted leopards the day before, so we were pretty optimistic. No big cats of any kind, but we did manage to piss off an elephant who was pretty close to the dirt track we were on. I’m snapping away and sure enough, out come the ears, big trumpet sound, and she makes a run for our jeep. We sped off a short distance and she didn’t follow: brown-trousers episode averted.

Of course, the animals aren’t on a schedule, so we were still happy with the drive through the savanna, but I can tell you, after 3 hours of sleep-deprived jostling in a 4×4, every species of buck/deer/gazelle ends up looking just about the same.

We’re off to Tanzania next week: another road trip on whatever may pass for roads at some points, but we’re cautiously optimistic. Ngorongoro Crater is by all reports teeming with animals, and I’ve got lots of memory cards to fill. Two days as well in Zanzibar, already evoking spice bazaars, orientalist intrigue and Queen anthems in my head (Freddie Mercury was born there—go figure).